The Central Scrutinizer

@ Colossal Squid Industries 
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iPad

 

iPad v. A Rock

The "Stone" is looking like a better option for this economy. The touchscreen feature has unfortunately been a shortcoming for rocks in general for some time now.

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Filed under  //   Apple   iPad   Mega Dork   Steve Jobs is God   Tech Crunch   Wired  
Posted by Patrick Berry 

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Frantic Steve Jobs Stays Up All Night Designing Apple Tablet

Science & Technology

Frantic Steve Jobs Stays Up All Night Designing Apple Tablet

January 27, 2010 | Issue 46•04

CUPERTINO, CA—Claiming that he completely forgot about the much-hyped electronic device until the last minute, a frantic Steve Jobs reportedly stayed up all night Tuesday in a desperate effort to design Apple's new tablet computer. "Come on, Steve, just think—think, dammit—you're running out of time," the exhausted CEO said as he glued nine separate iPhones to the back of a plastic cafeteria tray. "Okay, yeah, this will work. This will definitely work. Just need to write 'tablet' on this little strip of masking tape here and I'm golden. Oh, come on, you piece of shit! Just stick already!" Middle-of-the-night sources reported that Jobs then began work on double-spacing his Keynote presentation and increasing the font size to make it appear longer.

Thank God for the Onion.

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Filed under  //   Apple   iPad   Steve Jobs is God   The Onion  
Posted by Patrick Berry 

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